thought provoking warnings that are only slightly more ridiculous than
some I’ve actually seen! Attached as labels on furniture or equipment in the room?
Student contest? Headings on top of tests as a tension
breaker? Warning: Physics
and non-physics types reactions may vary dramatically.
This product warps space and time in its vicinity. Use with appropriate
This product attracts every other piece of matter in the Universe,
including the products of other manufacturers, with a force directly proportional
to the product of the masses and inversely proportional to the distance
between them squared.
This product contains the energy equivalent of 85 million tons
of TNT per net ounce of mass.
WITH EXTREME CARE: This product contains minute electrically charged particles
moving at velocities in excess of five hundred million miles per hour.
NOTICE: Due to the "Uncertainty
Principle", it is impossible for the consumer to determine at the
same time both precisely where this product is and how fast it is moving.
There is an extremely small but nonzero chance that, through a
process known as "tunneling" this product may spontaneously
disappear from its present location and reappear at any random place in
the universe. The manufacturer will not be responsible for any damages
or inconveniences that may result.
PRODUCT IS 100% MATTER: In the unlikely event that this product should contact antimatter
in any form, a catastrophic explosion will result.
NOTICE AS REQUIRED BY LAW: Any use of this product, in any manner whatsoever, will increase
the amount of disorder in the Universe. Although no liability is implied
herein, the consumer is warned that this process will ultimately lead
to the heat death of the Universe.
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